Anonymous | On 12, Feb 2019

Hello, Future Me. I am you in the past.

I wonder if you accomplish everything thing you wanted. I’m hoping you made mom proud of you. I know we both suffered from this thing called anxiety. I was wondering if you’re still suffering from it?

I remember when we woke up in the middle of the night and broke down in sobs, tasting the salty tears trickling down our cheeks, praying it will get better.

Do you remember the time at the hospital? We both didn’t want to believe we were having a panic attack. We labeled it as just an ‘asthma attack.’ Looking at the papers they gave us for people who suffered from it and throwing it away after leaving. If you keep denying, its not healthy for you. Trust me I know. Holding in your feelings makes you suffer.

We both know that you haven’t told anybody, not even mom, and she’s your number one supporter. I know you really don’t open up; you’re like a turtle in its shell hiding from everything.

I know you want to participate in class, but can’t seem to find your voice, or you think about how what you say makes other people look at you. I know you second guess yourself all the time. You tend to give people advice, but don’t take your own.

I know society depicts us as a psycho, a lunatic, and pushes us to the side, pretending we don’t exist at all.

But one thing I did learn is you can’t live your life in fear. Don’t think about the ‘What Ifs’  of life. Think about how much it makes you feel. Think about the good outcome of it. Never bottle up how you feel about a situation.

Talk to someone who makes you feel comfortable. Adjust your mindset. Don’t worry about what people think or what they say about you. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do. Don’t let anyone label you as an ‘other’ in society.

Most importantly, do not people manipulate you into making yourself crazy. Because that’s not true. You’re so much better than what you think you are. I know you’re capable of breaking out of your shell.

I mean, after all, you’re me and I am you.